Tri Group Happy Hour: A Play in Three Acts

Act One
Our raven-haired heroine walks up to a group of women, beer in hand

Our Heroine: Hi! I’m Kimra.

Woman #1: Hi! So, have you done this before?

Our Heroine: Nope. Totally new. I run. I swim a little. No biking. You?

Woman #1: I’ve done a triathlon before, yep. It was easy. And I’m here with a bunch of friends! We all did it! Do you know anyone here?

Our Heroine: Nope. It’s, um, just me. Getting to know you, though! [nervous laugh]

Woman #1: So, no biking, huh? But you clip in, right?

Our Heroine: Um, actually, no. I don’t. Not yet, I mean. Maybe by training weekend, or the race, or something. Or cages. Or not. You know, I really don’t know yet. I’m new.

Woman #1: Well. I mean, you know this race has a really big hill, right? And that you have to clip in to get up it, right? So, I mean. I’m just saying.

Our Heroine: [contemplates vomiting into her Racer 5]


Act Two
Our Heroine sips her Racer 5, feeling out of place and sad

Coach: Hi! Any questions?

Our Heroine: Yeah, actually. If I don’t clip in yet, do I just get thrown off a cliff?

Coach: Ah, but we’ll work with you.

Our Heroine: But if I’ve ridden a bike seven times in my adult life? And they were all in the last seven weeks? And I can’t go up hills?

Coach: Oh. So you’re gonna be my project.

Our Heroine: [contemplates vomiting into the final third of her Racer 5]


Act Three
Our Heroine, now freaking out and nearly out of beer, beelines for a woman she overheard earlier

Our Heroine: [to woman #2] Did I hear you say you’re new at this?

Woman #2: Yes. Totally new.

Our Heroine: So how did you end up here?

Woman #2: I’m a runner and I had a friend on the board. You?

Our Heroine: I’m a runner and I had a friend on the board. So, do you clip in?

Woman #2: Nope. And my only swimsuit is a bikini from Mexico. Years ago.

Our Heroine: Wait. Are you the girl from the info meeting who said she knew how to dog paddle with a cocktail?

Woman #2: Yup. That was me.

Our Heroine: I love you. You’re my person.

Woman #2 and Our Heroine toast


Tagged , ,

13 thoughts on “Tri Group Happy Hour: A Play in Three Acts

  1. Linda says:

    Here’s to new friendships and new adventures (and to hoping Woman #1 really isn’t who she says she is!)

  2. shelby says:

    Your training group has happy hours? I like your style.

    • Kimra says:

      yes! at one point the coach said something like “no more beer till May!” and everyone who’d worked with him before was like BWAHAHAHAHAHA NOBODY BELIEVES YOU. So if nothing else, I can drown my triathlon-related stress in beer at social outings for the next 10 weeks.

  3. Diana says:

    Well I for one am super proud of you for going. Being new to a sport and a social situation tend to take the *happy* out of happy hour for me! An intermediate step might to be investing in $10 toe straps once you get more comfy on your bike (my local bike shop put them on for me). On recommendation from the truly helpful and supportive bike guys– do you have a truly helpful and supportive bike guy?– I put them on my mountain bike pedals to help with the hills and I was glad to have them because I could push and pull. I realize its no replacement for cleats, etc, but it was a cost effective solution for my first rodeo.

    • Kimra says:

      Haha, there was also a woman #3 (friend of woman #1) who was all, “F cages and straps! You’re even more likely to fall over with cages and straps!” Thanks, lady.

      I’m hoping I find a helpful and supportive bike guy!

  4. Katie says:

    YAY! Racer 5 is awesome. So is woman #2! I would be TERRIFIED of clipping in. I’m impressed you’re jumping into this!

    • Kimra says:

      Y’know, I honestly thought the group as a whole was a little more “beginner” than it is. I guess I’m glad I was wrong, because I would have chickened out if I’d known the real story. Jumping in with both feet, I guess!

  5. katie says:

    anyone that tells you that you NEED to clip in is a cranky wench. so just DO YOUR THING and rock it.

  6. Naomi says:

    This was great – loved it! So glad you found your person!

  7. Kristina says:

    I say good for you! I’ve been really shy about the tri ‘culture’ because there can be a lot of posturing and people seem to have more of an attitude than, in my opinion, “just” runners. It does, of course, depend on the person. Also, I did Wildflower last year, and you definitely don’t *have* to clip in. I know for a fact that someone cruised by me on the bike while not using clipless pedals.

  8. Beth says:

    I’m glad you found your tri-club soul mate šŸ™‚

    Don’t worry about being a beginner. For my first tri I rode a borrowed bike with cages and my friend had to completely rearrange my transition area because I had NO IDEA what I was doing. We are all beginners at some point!

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