Our raven-haired heroine walks up to a group of women, beer in hand
Our Heroine: Hi! I’m Kimra.
Woman #1: Hi! So, have you done this before?
Our Heroine: Nope. Totally new. I run. I swim a little. No biking. You?
Woman #1: I’ve done a triathlon before, yep. It was easy. And I’m here with a bunch of friends! We all did it! Do you know anyone here?
Our Heroine: Nope. It’s, um, just me. Getting to know you, though! [nervous laugh]
Woman #1: So, no biking, huh? But you clip in, right?
Our Heroine: Um, actually, no. I don’t. Not yet, I mean. Maybe by training weekend, or the race, or something. Or cages. Or not. You know, I really don’t know yet. I’m new.
Woman #1: Well. I mean, you know this race has a really big hill, right? And that you have to clip in to get up it, right? So, I mean. I’m just saying.
Our Heroine: [contemplates vomiting into her Racer 5]
Our Heroine sips her Racer 5, feeling out of place and sad
Coach: Hi! Any questions?
Our Heroine: Yeah, actually. If I don’t clip in yet, do I just get thrown off a cliff?
Coach: Ah, but we’ll work with you.
Our Heroine: But if I’ve ridden a bike seven times in my adult life? And they were all in the last seven weeks? And I can’t go up hills?
Coach: Oh. So you’re gonna be my project.
Our Heroine: [contemplates vomiting into the final third of her Racer 5]
Our Heroine, now freaking out and nearly out of beer, beelines for a woman she overheard earlier
Our Heroine: [to woman #2] Did I hear you say you’re new at this?
Woman #2: Yes. Totally new.
Our Heroine: So how did you end up here?
Woman #2: I’m a runner and I had a friend on the board. You?
Our Heroine: I’m a runner and I had a friend on the board. So, do you clip in?
Woman #2: Nope. And my only swimsuit is a bikini from Mexico. Years ago.
Our Heroine: Wait. Are you the girl from the info meeting who said she knew how to dog paddle with a cocktail?
Woman #2: Yup. That was me.
Our Heroine: I love you. You’re my person.
Woman #2 and Our Heroine toast